All (creatively) Juiced Up and Nowhere to Go

I am a pretty creative person, or so I am told. Long ago, before I had kids, I went to design school and I worked as a book and catalog designer for an educational publisher. Then I had one baby, then I had another, and another, and all the creativity I could muster after non-stop nursing, diapering, and waking up several times a night, was to make little creatures out of Play-doh with my kids. It was as if the creative part of my brain had completely shriveled up. For a while, I had lots of offers to work on some great freelance projects, but I could only take on the smallest projects and I often had to turn down the big, juicy ones.

Now, I seem to have all kinds of creative ideas. I have started making really modern, colorful quilts. I have taken on a few more design projects, I paint, and I made a bunch of so-ugly-they’re-cute stuffed animals for my kids. I hosted kids birthday parties where the kids made their own animals. I have designed logos and marketing materials for friends’ businesses, but somehow I can’t seem to turn any of these creative impulses into businesses of my own.

I have never taken a business class in my life and just thinking about all those numbers and finances and rules makes my head hurt. For all of my working life, it was someone else’s job to handle the money/fees/negotiation/logistics part of a project and my job to make the project make sense and look beautiful. I liked it that way. Now that I am no longer employed by a large company, I need to fend for myself and I really don’t know what I’m doing.

The freelance design stuff is easy. I have a set hourly rate, and so far, all my clients have been willing to pay it. I just wish there were more clients and more work. Other than that, I always wish that all these creative projects could turn into actual income. I have lots of great ideas rattling around my head—misfit stuffed animals! Baby quilts that don’t look like your grandmother made them! Custom Kindle covers! Who knows!?!?! All I have actually done is put a few of my paintings on Etsy. And there they sit. Unsold.

I seem to have lots of inspiration and motivation on for the creation and execution of a project, then that motivation kind of falls apart when it comes down to what to DO with the things I make. I think part of it is that on some level, I think the things I make aren’t really good enough for anyone to want to buy. Is that true? Is it just my own insecurity? I don’t know.

 Anybody want to buy a quilt? Or a painting? Or an ugly stuffed animal? I can make the animal match the quilt …  Anyone?